Saturday, December 29, 2007

Friday, December 28, 2007

Stuck on the Side of the Road

I can't remember the last time I was so excited about coming home. I'm on my way home from work to a four-day weekend, to spend some time with my family, enjoy some of the movies and shows we got for Christmas, and play Guitar Hero.

But noooooo...instead my car stalls, and here I am a few miles west of Athens waiting for roadside assistance to tow my car and Krista to pick me up. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night.

Rainy Day Go Away

I just hit the McDonalds drive thru in Rogersville. I ordered a "southern style chicken biscuit and 2 hash browns". She responded with "was that a large sweet tea and 2 sausage biscuits?" I think they need to fix their microphone. Hmmmm...maybe that was funnier if you were there.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I guess the writers really *are* on strike

We've got the Disney Christmas parade on the TV right now so Julianna can watch Mylie Cyrus.

Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa are hosting the show live.

Here's some actual dialogue...

Kelly: Wouldn't it be great to get a makeover from Mickey and Minnie?

Regis: That would be one for the books, wouldn't it?

Gee, wonder if they're ad-libbing this?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Florence Times Daily Scam

I'm sitting at home the other day and the phone rings. It appears to be a local number (256/781-4908), so I pick it up. On the other end is a woman talking a mile a minute, telling me they'll be delivering the local paper, the Times Daily, in a new format in my area, and they're giving people copies. So, it sounds like I'm getting a free copy of the paper. Then she says she has to give me to her supervisor to do some quality check to make sure she did a good job or something. So I get on the phone with this guy who tries to verify I just ordered a subscription to the Times Daily. What?!? I said "no", and he immediately hangs up. What's that all about? Is the paper doing so poorly they're resorting to telemarketing to scam people into subscriptions? I called the number back and got a voicemail with "Turnkey Solutions" that appears to be a firm that does telemarketing.

Good grief. It's bad enough I get this crap from bigger companies, now the local paper is doing it? Has anyone else got calls like this?

Friday, December 21, 2007

I love to visit the doctor's office

Receptionist DO NOT know how long the wait is. Also DO NOT know grammar. Either that, or Receptionist talk in first person like Tarzan. Or Bizarro. Hmmm...maybe that means receptionist really DO know how long wait is.

Sorry; I'm just sitting here in the doctor's office, head in a fog, rambling.

Jim am not sick. Jim LIKE doctor's office. Jim like to feel yucky at Christmastime.

If you have no idea who Bizarro is, sorry about that. Of course, you should if you've seen Seinfeld.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I Want Some Footy Pajamas

I think I know why these pajamas are on clearance. Because no 12-year-old would be caught dead in footy pajamas.

As a matter of fact, as I was laughing about this and taking this picture, some mom walked up with her son who was about 9. She said, "Hey look, footy pajamas." His response was a rather hasty "No."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Dreams of Brass

I dreamt last night that I was trying to take up the tuba. What the heck is that about?

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Kindness vs. Efficiency

So, the other day I was in the Wendy's drive-thru in Huntsville - you know the one in front of the WalMart that is always so quick and where everybody's nice?

Well, I drove up to the speaker and began to tell them what I wanted - what order should you do stuff in? Usually you order your combo first and they ask you the size. So then, I ordered one of the combos, and then I told her I wanted it "Large". So she says through the speaker, "Hold on, now I gotta start all over." Good grief.

She was about as nice with the rest of my order; I suffered through it and pulled around to the first window to pay they guy at the first window. We completed the entire transaction without exchanging a single word. He didn't tell me how much, he didn't tell me "good afternoon". He didn't tell me "thank you", "please drive to the next window", or even ask me how I was. Isn't it weird that he took my debit card, ran it, handed it back to me, and never said a single thing?

So I get to the last window and the manager seems nice. She gives me my food, and while she's going after some extra sour cream I asked for, I checked my order. They got everything right. So now I'm in a conundrum. Generally, they're pretty polite in the drive-thru. But they almost always get something in my order wrong. Either they forget the straw (and I have to run around the entire building at work trying to find one), or they give me a normal sandwich instead of the ketchup/pickle/mustard-only I order. Or, they like to be funny and when I say "no cheese, extra pickle", they give me cheese and no pickle. But they rarely get it right.

So do I prefer the kindness? Or the efficiency? What would you prefer?

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Something I Never Would Have Learned If I Never Had Kids

It's really gross when someone drools in your mouth.

I know he's my own flesh and blood, but still.


Tuesday, December 04, 2007

More on the subject...

And in related news, I was glancing through our beloved local classified paper, the Courier Journal, the other day and found out that if Jesus were here today, he would probably use a bulldozer to tear down our church.

Of course, this wasn't some random person with a letter to an editor, it was a paid ad from another church. I guess I could see that. If Jesus were alive today, he wouldn't be feeding the hungry or healing the sick. He'd be tearing down churches with bulldozers.

I'm just feelin' the love this holiday season!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Obsession (1 of 7)

Why do people think they can confess things on their blog that they normally wouldn't say in real life? Maybe it's the faux anonymity. You can scream things out into space and don't even know if anyone can hear you.

I think I'm addicted to anger. I'm not sure what it is, but besides the normal anger issues - frustrations with people, road rage, etc. - I get into this crazy obsess mode sometimes when I'm driving. I end up dwelling on things that make me crazy - things that make me so angry I practically see red. It's almost like I'm drawn to getting angry.

I remember when I was younger and I used to read the comics in the newspaper all the time. There was a comic strip called Rose is Rose, and it used to get on my nerves (it's still out there; I looked at it, and it's still stupid). I never liked it, but I used to read it every day. And it would annoy me every single time. It was about this couple (her name was Rose), and they had a kid named Pasquale. Pasquale? What kind of name is that? Anyway, I just hated the strip. The ironic thing is that in the strip itself, the dad would read the comics in the newspaper, and he would always read this strip that made him mad - you could tell he was reading it when his little word balloon would say things like, "Grrrr." And Rose was always asking him, "If it makes you so mad, why do you keep reading it?"

So, kind of like reading the comic strip I didn't like every day, sometimes I just find myself thinking about frustrating situations, or people that are toxic to my life, and dwelling on them, and working myself into a crazy frenzy of anger.

Okay, maybe that's too much confession.

Things seem to come full circle. A little while back, I used to read stuff written by this certain author. And it always used to make me so mad. They just wrote stuff that was mean, ugly, and hateful - and their writing wasn't that good anyway; plus they seemed to be really popular. But I couldn't stop reading it. Though it wasn't religious, it was like what Mike Cope calls religious porn - you know that religious writing that you know you shouldn't read because it makes you crazy mad, but you just have to keep reading it. It's like you can't stop. And so I would keep reading stuff by this author. And Krista would always ask me things like, "If it makes you so mad, why do you keep reading it?"

I don't know...

Qutoe of the Day: James 5:16