Why do people think they can confess things on their blog that they normally wouldn't say in real life? Maybe it's the faux anonymity. You can scream things out into space and don't even know if anyone can hear you.
I think I'm addicted to anger. I'm not sure what it is, but besides the normal anger issues - frustrations with people, road rage, etc. - I get into this crazy obsess mode sometimes when I'm driving. I end up dwelling on things that make me crazy - things that make me so angry I practically see red. It's almost like I'm drawn to getting angry.
I remember when I was younger and I used to read the comics in the newspaper all the time. There was a comic strip called Rose is Rose, and it used to get on my nerves (it's still out there; I looked at it, and it's still stupid). I never liked it, but I used to read it every day. And it would annoy me every single time. It was about this couple (her name was Rose), and they had a kid named Pasquale. Pasquale? What kind of name is that? Anyway, I just hated the strip. The ironic thing is that in the strip itself, the dad would read the comics in the newspaper, and he would always read this strip that made him mad - you could tell he was reading it when his little word balloon would say things like, "Grrrr." And Rose was always asking him, "If it makes you so mad, why do you keep reading it?"
So, kind of like reading the comic strip I didn't like every day, sometimes I just find myself thinking about frustrating situations, or people that are toxic to my life, and dwelling on them, and working myself into a crazy frenzy of anger.
Okay, maybe that's too much confession.
Things seem to come full circle. A little while back, I used to read stuff written by this certain author. And it always used to make me so mad. They just wrote stuff that was mean, ugly, and hateful - and their writing wasn't that good anyway; plus they seemed to be really popular. But I couldn't stop reading it. Though it wasn't religious, it was like what Mike Cope calls religious porn - you know that religious writing that you know you shouldn't read because it makes you crazy mad, but you just have to keep reading it. It's like you can't stop. And so I would keep reading stuff by this author. And Krista would always ask me things like, "If it makes you so mad, why do you keep reading it?"
I don't know...
Qutoe of the Day: James 5:16